Angel
by Mrs Sydney Vaughn
Summary: S/V 'nuf said. just R&R. you won't be disappointed (i hope). second part is up!
1. Angel

i don't own Alias. don't sue. if ever i am violating anything, please email me and due actions would be taken. 

this is my very first songfic. for those who do not know the song, fyi: this is the song played on the pier scene of sydney and vaughn episode 1.04 if i am not mistaken =) 

Angel

**ANGEL**

_ Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it ok  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day _

_I need some distraction or a beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight  
_

It was raining outside, which was not a typical LA scenario. 

It rarely rained in LA, but for some reason, it reflected what he was feeling. 

Michael Vaughn sat on a chair in front of the window of his apartment, staring at the raindrop spluttering against the glass. Clad only in his white tank top and a pair of blue, faded pyjama bottoms, he sipped his three-fourths full beer, eyes still glued to nothingness. 

As much as he wanted to drown himself in spirit, he was taking it gradually because he was still recovering from his recent brush with death. 

How he loved to get drunk, even just for a night. 

To be numb. 

Unfeeling. 

Just for a night. 

"Tell me how you feel about my daughter," Irina had said when he asked her for the cure. 

How do you respond to a personal inquiry of a mother? "That's none of your business," he had said instead, evading the request he, too, was evading himself. 

"Are you in love with her?" 

The question had caught him off-guard. It was the same question his brain was asking, the answer his heart is not giving. 

He let out a deep breath and brought up his other hand to his forehead, pressing firmly his thumb and forefinger on his temple, as if the pressure would ease up his headache… would vanish the face haunting him. 

Sydney Bristow. 

He could still feel her. Her scent still enveloped his senses. If it had been in a different location instead of the headquarters, he would never let her go. But there were factors to consider. She was tied to SD-6, leaving it would mean endangering her life. He was tied to CIA, breaking protocol would end his role as her handler. 

It was protocol that was binding them together as agent and asset. 

It was also protocol that was keeping them apart as man and woman. 

Vaughn drank from his bottle again and leaned back on his seat, eyes closed. He could not forget the look on her face when he brought up Alice. He needed to explain. Why the hell did it not occur to him to edit his emergency contact? It was almost a year ago since they broke up. It was only plain acquaintance. What they had before was history. He never felt anything for Alice the way he was feeling right now with Sydney. That earth-shaking, knees-buckling, warm feeling he had whenever Sydney was around. He wanted to tell her everything. 

But Sydney would not listen. 

She opted not to listen to his explanation, which disturbed him. If she cared, she would want to know the real deal with Alice. She would want to know what he felt, the story behind. God knows, he would want a detailed explanation himself should similar thing happened to her. Like when Noah Higgs came into the picture. Or if Will or some other guy would come into the picture, which he prayed would not be the case. 

He took another long sip from his bottle, which brought its contents to half. Vaughn released a deep breath and chuckled softly. 

What a situation they were in: her mother killed his father. 

Funny thing was, he never felt any grudge on her. Never felt resentment, bitterness or anger at her. Quite the opposite. He rather felt the urge to protect her, to comfort her. To love her. 

Vaughn combed his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. 

Love. 

He could tell that the alcohol had clouded his thoughts, that he had too much drink already. That was the word he had been avoiding to even think and yet he was thinking about it just now. 

He berated himself. He should not put Sydney and love together. He must not. In their complicated world, he must maintain the divider. He must---

His reverie was halted by his celphone ringing. He straightened from his seat and looked at the clock. It was already past midnight and he was on leave, for heaven's sake. Devlin was the person who came to his mind. He would have left the phone ringing if not for the sound making his head ached so much. 

"Vaughn," he said gruffly said after the third ring. 

"Hi," answered the voice on the other line, somewhat broken. 

"Sydney?" he asked uncertain, thinking it was the beer that he heard her voice. 

"Vaughn, I—" she broke off. "Are you alone?" 

"Yeah." He heard a sigh and, if he heard right, a sob. Why the hell would she ask if he was---? Alice. He smiled. If she had listened to his explanation that afternoon, she would not even ask if he was alone. "Syd, are you all right?" he asked concerned. 

Then she cried. He could hear her suppressing her sobs. 

"Syd, where are you?" he asked, alarmed. 

"A block from the warehouse. I am calling from a payphone. Vaughn, I know it's late but could you--?"

"Meet me there in fifteen minutes," he said, cutting her off. 

He heard her released a deep breath. "Thank you," she said and hanged up. 

He quickly changed to shirt and jeans, grabbed his jacket and keys then sprinted out of his apartment. He arrived at the warehouse ten minutes after, not remembering if he ever followed any stoplights. All that mattered was to get to Sydney as soon as possible. 

Vaughn heard her sobs as soon as he entered the door. He found her sitting on one of the lower crates, arms around her legs, wet just like when she confronted her father. 

"Sydney," he said. 

Sydney looked up at him, tears falling from her eyes. "Vaughn, I am not sure if I could take this anymore," she stated. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning on the table in front of her. 

She gave a humorless laugh. "Everything is wrong. I have a dysfunctional family. I have to lie to save the butts of my parents. This whole espionage thing is getting out of hand. Even my friends are dragged into my dismal life. I have to keep on lying to Francie. I should be glad that Will knows about me, but I am not. It's something I am not proud of. There are still a lot of things I could not tell him." She started sobbing again. "Oh, Vaughn." 

Sydney stood up and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. She nestled her head on his neck and cried. "I am sorry but I just need somebody tangible, Vaughn. Even just for tonight." 

_ In the arms of the Angel far away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelry  
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here_

Vaughn's arms tightened his hold, fitting her more firmly into his embrace. 

"I almost lost you," Sydney said, her voice was muffled because her head was pressed at the crook of his neck. "Because of me I almost lost you." 

"You didn't loose me," he assured her. His hand combed through her hair. "And you won't loose me." 

"You're the only one I can trust. You're the only who knows everything about me. When I thought of how you almost died, I – I—Oh, Vaughn." Sydney broke into tears again. 

Vaughn ran his other hand up and down her back, trying to ease her pain. As much as he wanted to tell her how he feels, he could not. CIA did not tolerate relationships breaking the protocol. She would be given a new handler and her cover for SD-6 would be jeopardized. That, he could not take. 

"It's ok, Syd." 

They stayed like that for several minutes. Sydney somehow had ceased her tears but remained in his embrace. Vaughn felt his shirt soaked but he could not care less. Still he held her close. Then as quickly as she went to his embrace, she broke off it suddenly, pushing herself from him wiping her tears away. 

"Sorry," she said. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he reassured her. 

"It's way past midnight and you should get your rest," she said, a trace of dimpled smile as she looked into his eyes. "Alice maybe waiting for—"

"Alice is a friend," he said, cutting her off. "Just like Will is to you." 

They both stared at each other, assessing. Then Sydney nodded her head and dropped her look. 

Vaughn lovingly wandered his gaze through her face. He reached out and ran his hand up and down her arm. "Are you ok now?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she nodded, eyes still looking down. "Yeah, I am." Then she looked at him in the eyes again. With her other hand, she held his hand on her arm. "Remember when I said don't explain?" he nodded. "I wanted you to but you should not. I hope you're not angry at me for---"

"I'm not." 

They looked at each other again. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sydney said and started to turn around. 

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," he repeated. 

Sydney looked back and smiled at him. "Thanks, Vaughn, for being there." With that, she left him alone in the warehouse. 

Vaughn stood there for God knew how long. There were numerous incoherent things going through his head. All leading to Sydney. Finally he shook his head and started to leave himself. He would try to bring things back to normal tomorrow. He should concentrate on bringing SD-6 down with Sydney's help. Then he'll worry about tomorrow. One day, when all's well, he would tell her everything. He would start a new life. With her. 

But for the meantime, he would rather have that kind of clandestine rendezvous with his Angel. 

__________________________________ 

i know the song is not finished. depends on my mood but am planning on writing Sydney's side for the continuation of Angel. 

R&R =) 

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	2. Angel's Angel

Here is my second installment for my Angel series… hope you all like it… R&R any reactions is welcome…

***

Disclaimer: Don't sue! I am only borrowing the use of the characters of Alias and the song Angel for entertainment purposes only and no payment or whatsoever is received from this fanfic. If ever I am violating anything, please email me and due actions will be taken. Thank you.

***

ANGEL'S ANGEL

__

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn

There are vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It doesn't make no difference, escaping one last time

It's easier to believe

In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

The rain was heavy. Big drops of water was pouring from the dark, vastness of the sky, creating loud noises at it hit everything on its path. Strong wind also whistled, making an uneven momento of the falling rain. These are the sounds that did not frequent a place called LA. But for that particular night, it was a blessing for it muffled the sobs of Sydney Bristow.

It was almost midnight but stress, fatigue and depression kept her from slumbering. She had been in deep desolation for hours already but somehow her tears would not cease from falling.

Sydney pushed herself up from lying down on her bed to a sitting position and enveloped her legs with her arms. She nestled her cheek on her knees as she faced the window of her room.

The events of the past few days closed in on her. She always thought she was strong, that she could bottle-up her emotion. But that very moment proved she was still human after all. Sydney cried for every emotion that was surfacing that moment. Emotions that she held in check and kept inside.

She was angry. So angry that she could feel the cold air surrounding her turning hot. Why? Because not only did Sloane live, but Sark came into the picture. 

Sydney had been very frustrated for having to deal with her "boss" at SD-6 every day. For having to do his dirty job, every day. For having to live in his world of lies. Everyday. Every single day for the past year since Danny was killed. And the only way to bring his death to justice was to swallow the bile every time she came to work just to find a way to bring down SD-6. 

She pitied her co-workers. One of the best in the field but their skills was used in evil ways. They thought they were working for the good guys. If only she could tell them the truth. There were times when she was on the verge of yelling in SD-6 about the truth and it took most of her control. 

At that moment, she did not know how much control was left. Especially when she learned that she had to deal with Sark every now and then at SD-6. She had to work with him, otherwise he would spill the beans regarding her status and she could not risk it. Otherwise her entire work of bringing down SD-6 would go down the drain like that.

Her disappointment with her parents had added to her anger. 

She had always longed for a family. For a mother. For the love of her father. Now she had both but it felt like being in the middle of two clashing stones. She felt like being a rope in a game of tug-o'-war. 

Sydney gave a non-humorous smile, shook her head and lied back on her bed. She had a dysfunctional spying family. 

She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream to everybody and let them know she was human. That she was capable of feelings. That she needed attention. That she needed…

__

Somebody.

__

Vaughn.

Michael Vaughn, her handler; the one person that came into her mind. Although Francie was her best friend, Sydney could not tell her about her secret life. Will knew about it but there were things that she could not disclose to him less another bad circumstances happen to him again. 

Only Vaughn knew everything about her inner turmoil. He was the only one who understood her, who knew what she was going through, whom she could open freely to.

And she almost lost him. 

Because of her, she almost lost him.

Her tears came rushing at the thought of losing Vaughn. 

She stood up and paced her room, her arms wrapped around her middle as she tried to calm herself for an outburst. When she felt she could not hold on anymore what she was feeling, she went out her window noiselessly and drove towards the warehouse where she usually meets Vaughn. Her tears continued on falling while driving. When it hit her that she was driving her own car to the warehouse, she stopped two blocks away, afraid that SD-6 had put a bug in it.

Although the rain continued on its cadence, Sydney pushed head-on, crying while trekking the road towards her destination. It was the only place she could not be anyone except Sydney Bristow. In it she could drown herself in sorrow, without being afraid that Francie would hear her.

Sydney found a pay phone a block from the warehouse. She needed somebody. Desperately. And she needed assurance that Vaughn was alive.

She lifted the phone and started dialing his number when a thought hit her.

__

What if he's with Alice? Her brained screamed the question. _He will come, _came the reply of her heart.

She placed the phone on its cradle and started to turn. But she stopped dead on her tracks.

Vaughn would come, she knew that, Alice or not. 

__

Damn Alice, both her brain and her heart thought in unison. So she turned back, picked up the phone and hurriedly dialed his number less she changed her mind.

Sydney heard the other end rang. Once, then twice, all the while praying that no woman would answer for she was in no state to answer to anybody other than Vaughn. On the third ring, she was about to hang up when Vaughn answered in a muddled voice.

"Hi," Sydney said, unsure whether she was doing the right thing.

"Sydney?" Vaughn asked on the other line, sounding uncertain.

"Vaughn, I—" she broke off suddenly, remembering another hindrance. "Are you alone?"

"Yeah." 

Sydney released the breath she did not know she was holding.

"Syd, are you all right?" came the concerned inquiry.

Upon hearing the concern in his voice, the thread that was holding her emotions in check suddenly broke off and her tears came in their own volition.

"Syd, where are you?" he asked, worriedly.

Sydney sobbed before answering, "a block from the warehouse. I am calling from a payphone. Vaughn, I know it's late but could you--?"

"Meet me there in fifteen minutes," he said, cutting her off. 

Sydney, despite the continuous tears, smiled. "Thank you," she said and hanged up.

She walked once again into the rain towards the warehouse. When she reached it, she sank down on one of the crates and waited. She heard his footsteps after ten minutes but it felt like she had been waiting forever already.

"Sydney," he said when he stopped in front of her. 

Sydney looked up at him, relieved that he came. That he was still alive to mourn with her. "Vaughn, I am not sure if I could take this anymore," she stated.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worriedly.

She gave a humorless laugh and looked away from him. "Everything is wrong. I have a dysfunctional family. I have to lie to save the butts of my parents. This whole espionage thing is getting out of hand. Even my friends are dragged into my dismal life. I have to keep on lying to Francie. I should be glad that Will knows about me, but I am not. It's something I am not proud of. There are still a lot of things I could not tell him." She started sobbing again. "Oh, Vaughn."

Sydney felt her body had a mind of its own for she lunged at him suddenly, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. She nestled her head on his neck and cried. "I am sorry but I just need somebody tangible, Vaughn. Even just for tonight."

In the arms of the Angel far away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelry

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

Sydney felt whole. For the reasons she could not explain that moment, she felt she found a part of her. It seemed right, in that moment in time, to belong in his arms. To take whatever comfort she could find there.

"I almost lost you," Sydney whispered, still not breaking his hold on him. "Because of me I almost lost you."

"You didn't loose me," he assured her and felt his hand combed through her hair. "And you won't loose me."

"You're the only one I can trust. You're the only who knows everything about me. When I thought of how you almost died, I – I—Oh, Vaughn." Sydney broke into tears again. 

"It's ok, Syd," she heard him said while he soothingly stroking his other hand up and down her back.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Sydney somehow had ceased her tears but remained in his embrace. Before she felt cold and wet, but somehow, Vaughn had driven those away. She did not want to let go. Ever. But she had been gone long enough that she guessed if there was a bug in her car, SD-6 might suspect something was going on and might send a search team for her. So as quickly as she went to his embrace, she broke off it suddenly, pushing herself from him wiping her tears away.

"Sorry," she said.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he reassured her. 

"It's way past midnight and you should get your rest," she said, a trace of dimpled smile as she looked into his eyes. Sydney fought against not mentioning her name but she had to know. So she took a deep breath before saying, "Alice maybe waiting for—"

"Alice is a friend," he said, cutting her off. "Just like Will is to you."

They both stared at each other, assessing. Then Sydney nodded her head and dropped her look. Vaughn's revelation had uplifted her sullen mood. She was afraid to let him see what her eyes was reflecting so she looked away.

"Are you ok now?" he asked, then she felt his hands rubbed her arms.

"Yeah," she nodded, eyes still looking down. "Yeah, I am." Then she looked at him in the eyes again. With her other hand, she held his hand on her arm. "Remember when I said don't explain?" he nodded. "I wanted you to but you should not. I hope you're not angry at me for---"

"I'm not."

They looked at each other again.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sydney said and started to turn around.

"It's tomorrow already," he said, grinning.

Sydney looked back and smiled at him. "Thanks, Vaughn, for being there." 

And then she hurriedly left the warehouse, leaving behind her Angel.


End file.
